Sunday, November 28, 2010

individual

मैं मेरा मैं हू,
तू मेरा तू है.
न मेरे तू से मैं हू,
न मेरे मै से तू है .
प्रथ द्रष्टया तो तू औ' मैं ,
प्रथम वाकया भी तू औ' मैं.
पर हर अगली द्वितीय पे,
मेरे मैं और तेरे तू का लोप हो रहा है.
और ऐसा ही परस्पर चलता रहा तो
एक दिन न तू रहेगा,  न मै.
हम की ओर अग्रसर 
ये मै औ' तू की चिरौरी 
 जानती नहीं की ये अपने 
अस्तित्व के लिए कितनी भयावह है.....

फिर, कसी दिन 'हम' 
समवेद ,सहचर,समाज,
 नीरसता की चौखट पे
मैं औ' तू के धीमे उच्श्वासो को टटोलते'
उनके पुनर्जन्म की बाट जोहते,
मैडीक्लेम  के कागज खंगालते'
बहुतेरी कोशिशे कर रहे होंगे  
मैं औ' तू को हम से अलग करने की....

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Do hi Ayam ?

श्वेत , श्याम , दो ही आयाम.



भूगोलीय बिंदु , या शितिजीय  सिन्धु.

चित या पट, शमा या व्रत.

टेर या बेर , ढेर ही ढेर या टके  में सेर .

सुधा या यम, सत्य या भ्रम.

स्वप्न या यथार्थ, अर्जुन या पार्थ.

विवरण  या सार, खिड़कियाँ  या द्वार .

विध्वंस या निर्माण, तलवार या म्यान.

कल या तरु, कल-कल या मरू.


श्वेत श्याम क्या दो ही आयाम?



एक कौरव  एक पांडव, एक स्रष्टा एक तांडव.

एक शैतान  एक पैगम्बर , एक ईसा एक लुसिफ़र

एक रोशन एक वीरान ,एक आदि  एक वीराम .

एक बस्ती एक उजाड़, एक सकुचा एक उघाड़.

एक पत्थर एक भगवान.

श्वेत श्याम क्या दो ही आयाम?



में मनुष्य, अनंत रंग .


खुद ही निर्माण खुद ही भंग.

कभी चीत्कार कभी म्रदंग.

न में भविष्य न में भूत,

दो आयामों  के बीच एक ध्यूत ,

मेरी चोपड़  मेरे शंख.

मैं मनुष्य अनंत रंग.




नोट: फोटो बारिश की एक रात मे ट्रेन से यात्रा करते वक्त लिया गया है, जो की रेल की खिड़की   की एक ग्रिल का क्लोस अप है, जिसपे पानी की बूंदे इक्कठा  हो रही हैं .  


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Peace.. at last....

What is -



               an inflicted wound,


       a deep gash,


                      torn skin,


       seeping blood,


                      a black choked brain,


       pulsating temple,


                     arched eyebrows,


      blood shot eyes,



                  simmering tears,

 
       irregular gasps,


                   quivering lips,


      outstretched fingers,


                  seething rage,


       taut body,


                 fear of foe,


         yet another blow?


 What could it be,



but the highest praise to peace...............




Saturday, July 10, 2010

leave or not to leave....

The disdain environment of my study room in which I was forcefully sitting behind a big text book with the most dorky name the publishers ever came up with  ABC of chemistry was getting over me. This ABC was rather a series of textbooks...even after my mammas strict instructions of no music with studies I sneaked a radio in my room and put on a radio channel....the Radio Mirchi only channel at that time active in Indore unlike today....i never prefer radio fr music because it doesn't give u what u want and when u want...i on the other hand require a song when I want it....if theirs not the situation fr the song I want to hear, I create the situation..
It was around 1 in the morning,I reaching nowhere with the chemistry lessons dozed off thinking about car races and me bungee jumping over the Grand Canyon when the big branched carbon chain from which I was hung snapped...i was falling down in the canyon with no guards yelling like hell and then like I time travelled from the dream to another dream but this sure wasn't reality because my eyes were still closed. I had the consciousness to realize that the dream has changed somehow..it was better now...instead of a carbon chain now I was hanging with the chain of words – indecipherable, interlinked to each other....the words so strong, yet so soft in touch tied around my leg and spreading all over my body like a fast growing creeper making a safe cradle all around me....i still above the Grand Canyon , in my free fall and when I looked down instead the river bed  below I saw Tabs, Thaaps and beats...The current of them more violent than the river....the rapids more dangerous than the tornadoes, the current all going mad with emotion and conviction put into it....i knew that if I fall on this bed of tabs and thaaps...i will bounce back to the creeper of words in which I was still hanging...and this clambering plant will be here to catch me again.....i still in my free fall and now the distance between me and the bed below decreasing...i came closer to the base looked last time at the words net I was entangled with and then i hit the base below- the communion of tabs, thaaps, beats and the words, I a mute and dumbfounded spectator of this communion..it was like the communion of snakes- the word and the tabs twisting and writhing over each others glistened body in procees of makingh life.....i was drowning in the river of life and then it ended as abruptly as it came....i woke up, not with start but with the sleazyness of a panda...radio was still on and a jockey with his husky voice was instructing all to snuggle up in their cozy beds while he played some more songs...
And then it came to me I  knew what just happened.. it was something that was played on the radio...the words ,the sounds ,the euphoria, the exaltation all lost because I couldn't remember a word of what the radio just played. No way to repeat the emotion ,and that is why the song with no name became more important to me....
Today completing my umpteenth date with the song, I came to know few more facts about it...the song was in the language more than seventeen hundred years old..and also that this was the same language used by Jesus...The song is .'KANDISA' by Indian Ocean.
And the source for these facts was “Leaving Home” a documentary on the Indian band...since its release I was trying to get my hands on it...and yesterday I got it from one of my firnd(not even got the pleasure of downloading it myself Shucks!!) For music m not a pundit and I lack the qualities to understand the intricacies and intimacies of music unlike good food (heh).
The picture I am putting down is one of my favourite advertisement campaigns “Leave Home” and the first time I saw it in a magazine I was reminded of this band, Indian Ocean, Now they came up with the same name for the documentary on Indian Ocean it may be because They have a song recorded by that name, and it may not have anything to do with this campaign...and also if u guys havent understood what this was all about then lemme tell u straight....This was a review of the documentary Indian Ocean and if u still are sitting idle doing nothing good but reading this then Go GO GO  run like hell , get the movie and WATCH IT............meantime m Leaving Home(don’t follow me until you have watched the movie)....











Now some Pics of the band:
















Asheem Recently deceased front man of the band.....

Monday, May 24, 2010

kids


Uh ...sirr.? Is it dinner or snacks? The attendants too peculiar reaction on our Arrival in his little safe haven “Gossips” finally made us hardcracks conscious about our outfit. Aditya had a reason, he just burnt his leg by a vehicles silencer,  for being in shorts, while I had no better reason but my own slothfulness, also with my zeal to spread the shirk bug I convinced him to tag along in those home tattered sandals which  he was insisting to change at home.
As we made our way through too extravagant mahogany furniture to find a suitable place, preferably under an a.c vent, some distinguished guests already there, puckered up their snobbish faces and muttered under their breath “Man the standard nowadays , just keeps going down.”
Of course, I oblivious to all this was just getting cozy in the seat when Aditya startled me by saying “don’t you think, we overdid it this time?” 
“What… What r u talking about?”
Cant u see…..look at us? M in these shorts with this loose collared t-shirt and theses tattered sandals, n u…wow what a spectacle! A baboon in an oversized shirt with goan print, wearing a brown Bermuda whose original color was white, and those u r wearing are not even sandals they are carpet sleepers man.”
Now, I knew he was pissed off, and I would love to erase the look he gave, from my memory, when I asked him “So, Big Deal! What are you driving at?”
“you are just unbelievable man cant u simply see that we are too underdressed for this place. You said its just a small coffee joint in MP nagar.” I could see the rage and frustration on his face.
I had no choice but to agree to what he said to get out of the situation but still gave few last blows of argument ,
“well, Haven’t we been in more distinguished restaurants in more a ragged condition than this ,and at that time u atoned it to yours having too many breakups in such a short period and me being such a failure as of having no relation to speak of yet, for this utter disrespect of personal appearances and we laughed it off there. But yeah you are right, we should be careful next time, of the place and our attire. Hey look there.” Initially I said it to divert his mind from the current topic and to some extent I succeeded because he looked in the direction I was pointing and we saw a kid not more than 10 trying to fish out cherry lying at the bottom of his mocktail.
We both looked at our mocktails and our lips curled up in a mischievous smile as we remembered our long forgotten game. The person who fishes out the cherry first is the winner. And we dived into it head long. His mocktail was served in a long and narrow glass while mine was in a short and broad glass, so we were even. First we started with our stirrers, but to no success then suddenly I remembered the old trick I grabbed the straw, put it in the liquid, sucked on the open end keeping the other end on the cherry at the bottom, creating vacuum, and now the slow hoisting of it with loads of concentration started. I was stuck with my cherry on the brink of the glass just when I heard a shout. “ Yess!! I did it!. Stop there.. its over. I won.. I won!” Aditya had his cherry stuck in the stirrer and was brandishing it like a victory sword, above his head. I was too disappointed to even congratulate him. I mean c’mon this Is the game I was champ at and now look what being grown up has done to me.
Just then the waiter came up to our table, interrupting my sulking and his jubilation and asked “sir, anything else would you like to order?”. I waved irritatingly and said “No, we will call you when we want something.” While backing off he nervously looked at the other people dining there, I followed his gaze and found each and every person in the restaurant staring at us , most of them with disgust and few with curiosity including that kid who pushed us into this situation. I made faces at him, getting response in real time as he stuck his tongue out. We finished our drinks and ran out of the joint, still feeling angry stairs on our back.

On my numerous journeys I came across many kids. In the general compartment, in buses, on roadside dhabas,on platforms,  in remote areas of  town where even cellular networks are not available u can have child labors. These are grown up kids, Who can fish out cherry for you from any mocktail only if u remunerate them for the job.
And this one is for the kids whom I still remember meeting. They all have the same name “chotu” and “chutki.”

gaziabaad की  किसी भट्टी से 
 गरम चूडिया  निकालते,
धौंकनी सी चलती सांसो के बीच 
वह इसी कशमकश मैं है क़ि, 
 कुछ माँ के लिए चुरा ली तो 
पाप तो न होगा?


किसी पप्पू के ढाबे पे,
आज पूर्णिमा के दिन भी,
महताब के दीदार का नहीं,
मोरी पर बैठे बर्तन धोते हुए 
उसे बस इंतज़ार है 
आखरी कस्टमर के जाने का.


शफक के दबे पाँव 
रोशन दान से आने के पहले 
जी.बी रोड के एक घर मैं 
वह उठ जाती है,
उलझे बालो के साथ 
दूध का पतीला लिए. तैयार .

पिछले हफ्ते का बचा तेल,
एक फोटो और कुछ सिक्के 
कटोरे मैं डाल के 
चल पड़ा है वो 
चौराहे क़ि तरफ 
आज शनिवार जो है.

पाले की एक सुबह को 
अपने फटे स्वेटर 
और बनियान के बीच वह 
कागज लगा रहा है.
आज भी तो जाना है पेपर बांटने.

इन सबके बीच बचपन मुझे फिर भी मिल जाता है,
जब मंदिर के पास वो मुस्कुराते हुए आती है 
 और कहती है “ओ भिया एल्लो आपकी दूब १ रुपये मैं ,
 पर मीना को मत बताना  (अपनी दूब बेचती दूसरी सहेली की तरफ इशारा करते हुए )
 नि तो वो मुझसे कट्टी हो जागि न.”

PS: My father always argument against the authorities involved in rescuing child laborers who just rescue them and get over with their responsibilities without even giving a fleeting thought to their rehabilitation. He thinks that these children are better than me when it comes to street smartness and somewhere i agree to it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

OLD MAN AND A LADY(?).

Abe maar saale ko…..kaha se aya ye?..bieng one of the spectators I had no idea who this wild and lost looking mad man was, running amongst us…….His icecream stick arms and legs and his back cum stomach was a perfect dislpay of a famished country  and his outfit , a pale cloth covering his vitals down his waist and another piece of cloth draped round his shoulders slipping from shoulders was giving all the reasons to  crowd to pelt more stones on him…..if only this outfit was sported by a model in fashion channels lingerie section it would have won many critic awards…but this was not the case here…who would like to see a ragged old man runnin around in shorts….
Suddenly a surge of energy went through the masses and the crowd diverted its mind from the old man to a lady on stage….clad in salwar suit…smiling and enjoying all the attention she was getting..I think hers was the most cheerful face I saw in ages and most complacent too…..people were flocking around her.  She was getting praise for her beauty, her doings, her virtues. Everything of hers  and around her was wonderful in such a twisted way it seemed like all monkeys were sparing their  consciousness to take out leeches from the queen monkey..and then came the real blow or the exquisite praise it seemed that prosperity was doing a crude striptease on the stage as other monkeys around her took out a big python. At least thirteen people were holding that python of rs.1000 notes..now look at the craft of that person who created  this python…his will power, and his creative domain was not in building that garland of notes but to devise ways to be untouched by the greed of the green so close, to be aware of this material cliché so near to his nose, His eyes ,all his sensory organs registering  in his conscious that this is the way to live a king sized life and still what he only did with those rs1000 notes is built a large python to be put around the shoulders of a fat ,stout, black(does that sound racist)sweating figure who is never exhausted of showoffs....

People on stage were presenting that python to their so called beautiful lady and  I saw that old mad man standing in the crowd looking  at the spectacle ,on the verge of tears..i took out a thousand rupee note from my pocket and saw a bald figure on the note then I looked at the old man again…man!!! What uncanny resemblance….holy crap!! Its him the man on hundred rupee note.. he looked at me and then threw his head down in some unexplainable grief his facial expressions distorted beyond repair..and then he tried to jostle his way out of the crowd where people were pushing him.. “abe budhe chal be dikhta nhi kya…chal bhag yaha se”…and then he was out of the crowd finally out  of sight…and I thought ‘So, this is the end of Gandhi.’  While on stage a ‘harijan’ lady displaying a crude pole dance of lust with money……….yeah yeah money …..thank u miss MAYAWATI for the spectacle...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

whiskey on my breath......

i was initially in a dilemma whether to formulate this idea s a short story or a poem....but in the end poem won...so here it is....



Sitting in the lounge,watching her serve,
In the matt monotone of bistro,
I snapped at her for erring my order
With whiskey  on my breath.

                                   I saw her turn around , tears down her eyes
                                  Through the fuzz of her skirt,
                                   Running on the aisle
                                   With whiskey on my breath.
I dash for the door,leaving my coat hung
Outside I watch her still on run,
Through the pounding rain
With whiskey on my breath.
                       Sitting at the steering wheel,I fumble for the ignition.
                        Looking for her through wind shield
                        I start with a screech,
                        With whiskey on my breath.
I see her on the pavement,alongside the road
I shout  from the window
With steering on the hold,
With whiskey on my breath.
                       Through the roaring engine, I hear a small thud,
                        I feel her beneath my jalopy’
                        Pavement splattered with blood
                        With whiskey on my breath.
·           *   *   *   *  *   *


Back at home I answer the door bell,
A waiter has come,
 to return my hung coat
but today there’s no whiskey on my breath.
                                Skeptical, I search pockets thinking it’s a gig,
                                Checking the wallet, I found her pic.
                                Holding my baby,with me smiling by her side
                  Oh! M sorry.. today I got no whiskey on my breath to hide.

                                              


                                          

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Of SILENCE AND SOUND

                                                     Of SILENCE AND SOUND

Places visited:  Hellen Keller School for blind, Mahesh drishti kalyan sangh,
1rst thing that I noticed was marble slabs with name of donators  ,engraved  along with amount they donated..
Objective: collect data from teachers by requesting them to fill up a questionnaire which will decide their satisfaction level in the current job.
Had to ask the teachers verbally as we had no questionnaire in brail, and the teachers were also blind.
The first teacher looked really suspicious of our questions as he kept on asking about the purpose of it.
Others took it as a good break from teaching and helped us fill the questionnaire along with their expert comments on every question..
All buildings spread in around 3 acres and besides two or three persons a very basic sensory unit missing on those premises ‘The eyes’……but not ‘The Vision’……
Every blind school had a music room…children and teachers had extra sharp auditory senses..mobile phones had invaded their lives for good as it’s the only tool in their reach to keep them floating..….all blind people had a very unique way of walking they moved their foot to take a step and with a jerk stop it from taking large step, which makes way for a very conscious and jerky walk…children had sense of complacentness on their faces…which was quite disturbing..
Places visited:   Anand service society,Bharat Vikas Parishad Seva Nyas,Sanjeevani Seva Sangam,Rotary Paul Harris School,Mook Badhir Sanghatan…..
1rst thing that I noticed was a fancy poster inviting students to an international conference of deaf and dumb in Geneva .
Objective:  To get the teachers fill our questionnaire for deciding their job satisfaction scale.
Had to use an interpreter who translated our verbal instructions in sign language. Teachers asked us to leave the questionnaire with them so that they can fill it up in free time..
All buildings had a playground..children were playing in them ,some cricket ,some volleyball, some having lunch in a corner. A normal school playground scenario, but with no sounds..there were no words, no verbals, only signs.
Children were smart, with no inhibitions and were playing in their own chosen groups.
I shifted my attention to two kids sitting on a bench they seemed to be like best friends And they were enjoying a discussion about the cricket match going on in front of them….lightening fast , changing gesture of their hands, the excessive use of body language and me the person bound by the shackles of eyes and ears was associating words with each of their actions..I looked to be the most primitive man on earth who doesn’t know the meaning of sight, smell,hearing and listening.
A journey through silence and sound  ,but how it could be complete without me, accomplishing any blunder…so the blunder of the journey is..me asking a class full of blind children with brails open in front of them for a ‘pen’ and then me asking a deaf teacher about RINGING of the next period bell.
Well got my share of dirty looks and expressions….
So cherish all your senses….and try usin them sometimes..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Homecoming


                 The Homecoming


I was suppose to choose one, fairy tales or drugs
And I chose the fairy tale which drugged mea
Kneeled down on punishment when asked fr truth
Blatantly I lied to save the truth.

Floating on the sea, facing the sun
I realized, m getting high in turn, on life.
I am a bit of ‘you’, and ‘am a bit of ‘I'
Then why you forcing me to be ME
I left this world on one funeral
and on the other came back from the eternal
I found you standing on the platform,
Forlorn, applauding my return.

.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Opera-Shopera-Mopera (Soprano Coloratura)

                        
  Omigod Opera!! That also  French.. dude u crazy or what? I mean an opera was ok but French? A language about which you don’t even know a thing..well yeah much less then you know about the French girls.
O.k Get the passes from Jahan Numa palace Hotel in shamla hills.. cmon man its free of cost u don’t have to pay anything(now that’s the best part).. Now run like wind man! u are already late, the opera starts from 6:45 and its 5 already, u need to get the passes and collect Aditya(what a company) from Bharat Talkies.
Hey Aditya where are  u bub! I got the passes man for the frst ever Opera! I have ‘em in my hands, the program starts in 15 mins. What? Ok m comin 2 pick u up? Stay there….
So u and him went to watch the Opera…idiots…anyways what can I say enjoy the show…
Here we are at Bharat Bhavan the temple of arts in Madhya Pradesh breathing on government grants a beautiful place to host these kinda programs.  Umm the only problem we are facing right now is to find in which audi it is as Bharat bhavan has umm..1, 2, 3 …forget it- many auditorium. So finally we are entering the “Antarang Audi.” Hey lets sit down on cushions. No? Ok then where, up there on chairs? OK as you wish. Not besides those uncles man! they look boring. Ok now lets settle down here…
So the two idiots finally settled down on the last bench in Bharat bhavan. But lo! The camera batteries are all sucked up. And no one had enough sense to charge ‘em. Well that’s why these 2 are idiots. Still to prove the point they switched on the camera once again and killed the batteries to their last cores.
An M.C from somewhere behind the screens announced about the starting of the Opera (and these 2 are still thinking why didn’t she show herself up? She can’t be that hideous).




The stage was lit up! Not, by lights but by a human figure whose appearance was screaming French, French, French and clad in red gown ornamented with a large peacock on the back showing that the dress was specially bought for an Indian performance was standing a lady named “Marion Baglan”, besides her sitting upright behind the brand name Korg a blonde gentlemen was itching to run his fingers on the keyboard named “Francois Juskowiak”





More to the astonishment of our idiotic duo the duo on stage started off without any preliminaries ,Which may sound really strange in India where nothing starts without a welcome speech and nothing ends without a useless vote of thanks speech. The auditorium was filled with a very clear, fully trained voice which took our idiots on the musical ride of their lifetime, the voice notes floated in the air around the audi sometimes deep as a ravine with unfathomable depths , sometimes high as the mountains of Kilimanjaro and sometimes breaking into the rapids of the Ganges of Hrishikesh, although later on I would find them grumbling about the French lyrics of the opera which went like discovery breaking up all heat shields over their heads, however it seemed that Marion made it up to them. As the seat in front of the two idiots was vacant Marion left the stage walked through the awestruck crowd of Bhopal and sat in the vacant seat(a publicity and attention seeking stunt), her waving golden hair whose each strand seemed like waving with her in the symphony. The real smell of Eu de cologne was too much for the two to take in for one day.
And now a word of advice from the horses mouth.

WATCH Opera, IF and only IF it’s in the language you know. Otherwise it’s wise not to even think of it.